A Re-Education of Self

WELCOME

Inner Musings was created from a feeling - one that’s not easy to define with words. A feeling of being lost and of feeling like there’s something more for me. It is a collection of things I’m exploring. Creatively, personally, and everything in between. A space where I can follow ideas as they unfold, reconnect with things I’ve always loved, and learn what it means to create a life that feels honest.

Week 7 focused on small, doable actions and examining procrastination as a creative block. We all have that list of things we need to do that seems to just keep growing, and I feel like mine has grown significantly since leaving my job and trying to figure out what comes next.

This week focused on self-nurturing by counteracting and neutralizing toxic inflow. It also explored the importance of not sharing your work too soon—or with the wrong people.

Full disclosure: I was not feeling it this week. I had a cold and was just feeling a little run-down from all the travel and having several things on my plate, but I persisted and completed week 5 anyway. I felt disconnected while completing most of the tasks overall.

Week 4 focused on creating a greater sense of freedom, open-mindedness, self-acceptance, and self-expression. 

We have been traveling for the last few weeks and have had a pretty busy schedule, so to maintain a presence on the trip, I decided to work through Week 4 over the course of two weeks instead of one. Part of the week’s tasks were completed during travel, and others I held off until we returned home.

art

explo

ration

exploring mediums and styles to find my voice.

Typically, this is where I would go off the rails and proclaim “I’ll pick it back up when things go back to normal.” But this time I’ve chosen to keep moving. It may not be perfect, and a few things may not get done, but I am not going to quit altogether. I have decided to take it one day at a time and do the best I can. That alone is a step in a changed direction for me.

This week's focus was on identity, transformation, and becoming larger. As children, we often have many dreams of what we will become. Over time, those dreams are either nurtured or extinguished by the world around us. I recall dreaming of becoming an actress, dancer, model, photographer, singer, and lawyer, just to name a few. But I never truly felt that most, if any, of those were attainable dreams. Was this because I was never fully nurtured to pursue anything? 

self portrait

study

Documenting my study of Photography and self -portraits.

Discovering a Sense of Origin

I just finished The Artist’s Way, and about halfway through I thought, “I should be documenting this experience in some way”.  If you have been here long, you know that I have been reading The Complete Artist’s Way, which is a compilation of 3 of Julia Cameron’s books on creativity as a spiritual practice. 

Since the purpose of this blog is to document my own journey in creativity, spirituality, and life in general, I decided to start a blog series for the second book in the collection called Walking In This World. I just completed Week 1.

CALIF

ORNIA

getaway

We just returned from a 9-day trip to California in our beloved van, Nora. This marked the 3rd trip we have taken in the van to Encinitas, one of our favorite coastal spots.

It’s been eight weeks since I quit my job, and I’m still finding it hard to let go and trust, which was the entire point of this whole explosive decision. I knew jumping straight into a new life and a new way of thinking wasn’t going to be as easy as snapping my fingers, especially given what I had on my plate the weeks following my career departure. Still, I hadn’t planned for the feelings I would encounter at this point in the journey. 

When it comes to reading, some of us are drawn to fiction writings of far-off places or mythical adventures. Others may like to get lost in a murder mystery or a romance novel that lets them escape everyday life. However, I have come to realize that I prefer non-fiction writing.